Reply to DD is giving me the silent treatment

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Reply to "DD is giving me the silent treatment"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well I must be a way worse mom than you, OP, because I’ve read your post twice and can’t see what you said that is so terribly wrong.

Certainly it is NOT your job to fix what SHE keeps insisting is wrong with her. In fact—you stated that you are the one who tells her she is NOT ugly and doesn’t need to change. 
That she feels she is entitled to have you supply her with expensive products to fix an issue she has with herself does not mean you are obligated to provide it.
She then lashed out and blamed you for “being ugly”—but YOU never said she was!
You just said it’s not your role to “fix” her perceived imperfections. And that if she sees an imperfection she wants to change—then it’s on her to figure out how to change it. 
You didn’t call her fat.
You called out that SHE calls HERSELF fat.
You didn’t call her ugly. You pointed out that SHE calls HERSELF ugly.
You are not required to participate in her self-shaming or to fund her quest to change her self-perceived flaws.

[b]I don’t get why what you said is somehow objectionable?[/b]?[/quote]

+1
What OP said was not at all objectionable. It was supportive and loving and honest. I am not blaming OP but perhaps the fact that OP actually thinks what she said to her daughter, and is now groveling to her daughter for forgiveness, is evidence of how wrongly skewed their relationship is right now. OP, your daughter has control of your relationship with her and is seizing on what you said and using it as a weapon against you. And you are letting her. YOU SAID NOTHING WRONG to her. She is manipulating you and you must disengage from her ability to do so.[/quote]

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