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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. How to navigate this. I wouldn’t end our relationship over something so menial, but how do I come to terms with having to wait? [/quote]

Honestly I was this in reverse bc DH was the one who kept being in grad school and wanted to wait to have kids.

I was very resentful. 
We were married 12 years before we had kids and at times I am still angry when I think about how his six year plan turned into a nine-year plan because we then had difficulty conceiving and we eventually did become “old parents” (late 30s) to a previous baby boy. 
But how I got through the waiting phase was this:
1–I acknowledged that I really did love him. And I rationalized that if he was *unable* to have kids, I’d still want to be with him, do this isn’t all that different.
2–I reasoned that i could break up with him but would that fix my problem with the delay… or delay my having kids even longer? Obviously the latter
[b]3–I decided I couldn’t bear it if we broke up over it and then he got remarried and started having kids before me *with someone else!!* [/b]
I knew that if that happened  I’d irrationally feel like some other woman was having MY life…and raising the child/children that I was meant to be having with him!

All this is to say I feel your frustration bc been there and done that.

And the person who isn’t ready to have kids yet “wins” in this scenario. So just try to enjoy the few years of just the two of you. 
[/quote]
What a sad reason to stay. You put a theoretical woman "winning" above your actual wants? Yikes, not very healthy. [/quote]

The point is that the “theoretical woman” would be “winning” MY life with the man I LOVE raising the child/children I wanted.

I didn’t just want to have kids.
I wanted to have kids with HIM.
This is how I knew that marrying him—even if we couldn’t have kids, or even if we delayed having kids—was more important to me than my kid timeline.

To me—it’s very healthy to figure out your priorities.
If OP values having kids or adherence to kid timeline above being married to this woman he loves—then he should absolutely break up with her and risk starting over to get what he wants MOST.

But for me, it was not worth losing him.
I love him and would not have wanted a life without him or to see him having “our life” without me……so I feel like I made the correct choice for me. 
[/quote]

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