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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "If someone has baggage (divorced or kids) from another relationship "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The folks interpreting “what did you learn” as “what did you do wrong” are hardcore projecting. I’ve learned significant things in life from experiences that helped me grow, both positive and negative. That’s how I would interpret that question. OP has every right to understand this guy’s past if he wants a future (or even a present) with her. OP if he can’t engage in respectful conversation about his past and isn’t helping you understand, he’s not ready to date. Re: the “baggage” term, come on people. We’re grownups, we all have it. [/quote] Op here. Exactly thank you. There are some ultra sensitive people on this board. I am very direct with my questions when getting to know someone and I don't mind talking to him about any past relationships. I believe all interactions and people we meet teach us life lessons. And yes kids are baggage for a childless person because you're dealing with the ex spouse. This man isn't my only option but I'm giving him a chance because I like him. I have reservations though. [/quote] You need to not date anyone with children with this attitude. Dump the guy and move on.[/quote] OP is not getting that she is the AH.[/quote] Answer me directly. The emotional baggage that comes with kids which means a former spouse is baggage for someone with no kids. But people in a thread become a ball of agreeing with one after another whereas reddit agrees kids and divorce are baggage.[/quote] Answer you directly? Is there a question? No. Maybe the reason everyone is piling on is because you seem condescending as hell. This condescension is no doubt coming through when you try to ask questions of the guy. Of course he's not answering.[/quote] Your immature response was to refer to me in the third person while I am the OP and present. It's not condescending it is getting to know someone. And we all have baggage fyi.[/quote] Getting to know someone is not condescending. Your manner of speaking is. Are you not understanding that this is what people in this thread are telling you?[/quote] NP- Op is just trying to say that the baggage is from the constant contact and coparenting needed with the EX. She is NOT saying the kids are baggage. In fact, OP I would bet you would be fine with dating a widower with kids because you don’t seem to be saying the kids are the issue for her. Op- I think you need to trust the new guy with the ex for co-parenting. I wouldn’t date divorced men when I was young and single because I didn’t want to be a step mom. I think that is a good think to know about yourself. If this guy is for you, he will at some point in the near future be willing to tell you about the divorce and you will get more comfortable with his parenting relationship with his ex. If not, you should stop dating him and focus on people with adult kids (no coparenting necessary) or never had kids.[/quote]
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