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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I do hold some resentment. We were friends before we got together. She knew all of this. It was a big issue in my previous relationship because I was with a younger woman. We got together and I made it clear throughout our relationship my desire to have kids earlier. [b]She was on board until she now decided she isn’t[/b]. [/quote]

NP here.  I think the incompatible timelines can be a deal breaker.  If you don’t want to break up, I think at a minimum you should both go to pre-marital counseling together.  Are there other things that you don’t see the same that are important in marriage?  How do the two of you communicate and resolve issues?

I don’t see the problem necessarily being that they were on board until they weren’t.  We can have things happen in our lives that change how we think about things and we start to value or prioritize different things.  My concern is the process of communicating these things when it impacts your partner/someone you are planning your life with.  While there are some things that you can’t compromise on (like having kids or not having kids), there are so many decisions where what I might decide as an individual is different than where we end up as a married couple but it hasn’t been all my way or all my spouse’s way.  The big things were not unilateral decisions and we sometimes took time, many discussions, and compromises and that both of us felt like the other truly heard the concerns.[/quote]

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