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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there’s something healthy about kids not getting all of their parents’ attention all the time. And what’s so wrong with older kids being expected to help cook? These are basic life skills and kids should take pride in contributing to the household.

My sister and I joke that we practically raised our baby brother when we were teenagers. Endless diaper changes, made baby food, took him on walks, did school runs. It didn’t replace an adult parent and the real responsibilities of being a parent of course. But it was one of the greatest honors of my life. [/quote]

There are lots of ways to achieve giving kids some independence without having 7 or 8 kids. You can give an only child independence by just given them space, having your own hobbies/life, and allowing them to fail and learn on their own. It's a parenting approach, not something dictated by family size. And all older siblings can be given some responsibilities related to younger kids, even if there are only 2 or 3 kids. But it can be done in a way that makes sense for the kids involved. It's not a requirement for the family to function. You and your sister might have felt honored to get to take care of your little brother, but that's likely because your parents had other options (caring for him themselves, hiring a sitter, etc.) but you were responsible enough and had the interest.

Well in a family with 7 or 8 kids, it doesn't work like that. These parents are having the 6th, 7th, 8th kids with the assumption that their oldest kids will (1) be able to do a considerable amount of childcare and housework, and (2) will not have any emergent needs that could disrupt that system.

There's just a huge difference between giving kids independence and increasing levels of responsibility as a parenting choice, and structuring your family in a way that depends on kids being independent and taking on a lot of adult responsibilities just to make the family function.[/quote]

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