Reply to Teen DD rebelling against achievement culture

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Short answer -

She needs the best GPA she can get, and the best test scores (congrats on the high score!) to get merit aid, which in the long run might prove more useful than a top-ranked name on a diploma.

Long answer -

Academics are not only about knowledge for a future career, general culture and cognitive development. Its immediate importance is about FAMILY MONEY.

I insist on the word family. Teens should care about their parents' expenditures, because it's that much less for their inheritance, or car purchases or downpayments on homes, or whatever else they might need in early adulthood to turbocharge their upward mobility.

This is a conversation, in fact, about building generational wealth. You as the parent have various investments, and you don't want a lackadaisical child to squander the family's financial opportunities. You want financial aid, merit aid, and to reduce your tuition load as much as humanely possible. Merit aid is a reduction in tuition. Financial aid is mostly loans. The former is less burdensome than the latter! And no one is giving out merit aid to mediocre students.

I say this as the parent of a kid with ADHD/ASD. The bar for kids with special needs is lower. He did manage to get into a decent college with merit aid, but I agreed to an expensive private university, not the State U that accepted him, because the Disability Office of the private offered him a lot more residential and academic accommodations. Will all those extra payments translate to higher income for him? Probably not. With him, we're on a different scale: that of not closing doors too early. If he can be financially independent when I'm gone, that's all I ask.

So by all means, get another evaluation. Call Stixrud. They're excellent. There is a waitlist, so in the meantime, get your kid an executive functioning coach and start explaining how the world works.

[/quote]

I posted previously that I have a kid like OP’s daughter, and with all due respect this response is exactly the type of explanation/lecture that would make him dig in his heels in his own position.

I would strongly advise against doing or saying any of this with a kid who seems to actually have the game figured out.[/quote]

It's seriously so out of touch.[/quote]

Finances are not an issue for most families? You really think so?

OK.[/quote]

Nah, a teen as smart and savvy as OP’s is also well aware that the “family” finances are really the “parent” finances.  And the poster you seem to agree with wasn’t discussing normal family financial issues, such as “if you don’t get a merit scholarship we can’t even afford state college” and the like.  She was talking about inheritance, building generational wealth, and “turbocharging upward mobility”…

I don’t know OP’s daughter but I guarantee I know what she would think of someone who says stuff like that…[/quote]

As she should because it devalues the child by equating their worth with money. Yikes![/quote]

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