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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "How to be married to an extreme avoidant?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm trying to understand the dynamic and what is meant by "avoidant"? Can you give an example? Given the folks telling you to leave, I think I'm not understanding how serious the issue is? [/quote] Op here. A recent example-I had been encouraging DH to see a doctor for months to get a physical to see if depression/low T might be a factor. I scheduled a doctors appointment for him at a time he said worked. He went to the appointment and I asked him how it went when he got back and he gave me a generic response. A couple months later, I was trying to track down the receipt to submit to our HSA for reimbursement. DH cannot find it. I call the doctors office. He never went to the appointment. He no showed. I go back to DH to ask him what happened?? He says he went to the doc and doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Then when I insist he gives me a vague word salad non answer. In this example, he’s anxious about going to the doc. But he knew I’d be upset if he didn’t go, so instead of telling he didn’t want to, he pretended to go. Then when I caught him in the lie, instead of just owning it, he added more lies and deflection to avoid me being mad at him. Basically it’s just never addressing anything head on.[/quote] Yikes. My HFA and PDA ex was like this. He intended to go so assumes he went. But never did. But only remembers his intent. Yet his intent was never to go. Very convoluted [/quote]
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