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[quote=Anonymous]It clicked for me with they dad when I was 13 or so, and watching him lose his $hit on my younger brothers there and very something inane. As I watched the scene unfold, I had this realization thatu dad's temper and fury were not a parenting choice but just emotional reactivity, an inability to think critically about the situation and come up with a solution that might have actually provided my brother with guidance and helped him do better the next time. I never really respected him after that. I also stopped fearing him.

With my mom it took longer. She's a classic enabler and for a long time I viewed her as a victim who was doing her best. As I got older I realized more how she enabled my dad's abuse and used lies and manipulation to place us in harm's way. It was very upsetting when I started understanding this dynamic.

I think I have finally, in my mid-40s, come to terms with the fact that I will never have the loving, attentive parents every kid deserves.[/quote]

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