Reply to Husband surprised me and I want to cry (not joyful tears)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't say a thing. He tired and that's huge, his intentions were sweet you don't say a thing.[/quote]

I totally disagree. Tell him how you feel, or he will keep doing stuff like this. Acknowledge that his intentions were good, but TELL HIM that your first reaction was to cry because of the reasons that you expressed.[/quote]

Does your husband do that to you a lot? Tell you that he wants to cry because you didn’t get the perfect gift. That he is so disappointed that he is in tears because the garbage can and hooks you got for his man cave or garage are the wrong colour? And you appreciate knowing how upset you made him by getting he wrong colours?

I find that such an odd dynamic to have. To use emotional manipulation and disappointment if your Payne doesn’t read your mind.[/quote]

Putting in hooks is one thing if she generally isn’t handy and he thinks it’s helpful. Getting the trash can and printer is I guess nice, if a little officious. Maybe he might think she overlooked a trash can, or was trying to economize re printer. Moving the desk is completely bizarre. He thinks she went to the trouble of bringing in a desk and just flopped it down wherever with no thought? That’s the one that really rubs me the wrong way. I would feel not only hurt, but disrespected at that point.

Maybe his heart is genuinely in the right place. But I agree with the PP who said that in a healthy relationship, you could say I appreciate that you were trying to do something nice for me, but I preferred it the other way and it would be no big deal. If he would make it a big deal, that’s kind of an issue.

But I also would have started ostentatiously walking the kids into “his” bathroom ages before this, so what do I know about healthy communication. [/quote]

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