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[quote=Anonymous]Female on OLD here. Try to curate your profile from the perspective of a person who wants to go on a date with you, not from a self-centered perspective.  Here's what I mean...

From a photograph perspective, I would improve a profile the following ways: no pictures in the gym, car, or fishing (if you don't fish often). Make sure the picture is upright (meaning not 90 degrees sideways). There are too many sideways pics out there for it to be ironic... Try to limit the selfies, and if you don't have non-selfie pics, have a friend or a restaurant server take a pic of you across a table. It's nice to imagine a first date with someone, so a gentle smile and a good looking drink or meal are appealing. If you are taking a mirrored selfie (which I don't recommend but whatever), make sure the room behind you is clean. People are looking at your piles of clothing and your bathroom bottles. Also look at the camera in the mirror image, not your face. That shows eye contact. But really...try to stay away from mirror selfies... All pics should be no more than 5 years old. The pictures I find most appealing are pictures that look like they are taken from the perspective of a friend or a date, not the picture you like from your own perspective. Not many people are going on a first date at the gym or on the dashboard of your car.

From a writing perspective: write SOMETHING! Looks will carry you so far, and personality matters. Try to avoid writing "I'm bad at writing about myself..." as a starter. That shows a lack of confidence and is a turn off. It's amusing how many men I date from OLD won't stop talking about themselves when we are in person, so channel THAT energy when advertising yourself in your profile. If you can't get away from the bad writing disclaimer, write it out and write something nice about yourself, and then delete the disclaimer. I promise the second part of the sentence is the only part a potential date is interested in. If you include hobbies (which I recommend), get a little detailed about it. For example, if you like cooking, elaborate on what dish you like to cook the most. Or even better, say "I'll cook you my famous [fill in the blank dish]." If you like to read, list a few books or genres that you read recently. If you get out in nature or travel, say where you've been recently. If you want to travel, say where you want to go and why. What I'm getting at here is that the details are far more colorful than the generic "I like to cook, read and travel."

And with all of these suggestions for thoughtful writing, I also recommend not writing too much. Provide a few relatable and interesting things about yourself to inspire someone to reach out to you and want to get to know you more.

Profile curation takes a little time and effort. If inspiration isn't coming to you in the moment, keep a running list handy so you can write things down about yourself for later curation. Like online dating itself, you get out what you put into your profile. This is lots of effort with small returns and can feel defeatist at times, even if you have a quality profile. Allow yourself some grace, and good luck to you![/quote]

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