Reply to Do you think I was insulting and disrespectful?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I posted before but now think you could have done some things differently. Here's the issue. The little girl was bored. so yes, she probably wanted to go play in ___'s room, where she thinks the good toys are. If she got an attitude from then on in, why do you think this is? Did she feel hurt by your tone? Maybe a better approach would have been to just say "we've got a ton of toys in the playroom, holly would probably prefer to be there to show you around her room herself. maybe the two of you can get together ____?" instead of saying "Jane does not like people in her room when she is not there" which just sounds stuffy (even though you were right to enforce that).

Another thing is, whether or not this little girl was invited, once she shows up it might be nice to make a big effort to include her. Set her up with something to reduce the boredom, include her in the convo, etc. I'm not saying you were WRONG to not do this or that your friend had a right to expect it, but I think it would have alleviated your problem. How much would it suck to be a 3rd grader dragged along for coffee, brunch, then two women shopping?

[/quote]

FWIW, I disagree. The friend was supposed to be child free and shows up with her child. Not cool in my book but things happen. But no way would my DD in 3rd grade even ask to go in another kid's room, and as a parent no way would I be at all offended if my friend told my DD the room was off limits. It sounds like the friend's household must not have many rules or boundaries if this child felt entitled to make such a request.[/quote]

What do you disagree with? Because I agree with what you're saying. I think the friend's mom sounds kind of terrible. But I'm just picturing a kid sitting there while grownups drink coffee and talk, feeling bored, and I am remembering myself at that age and maybe I'd have said Hey can I go play in Carrie's room? Or whatever. I'm NOT disagreeing that the child and her mom both acted kind of poorly, but I do think maybe OP could have spared more kindness to a little girl who was bored and probably should be in school. (BTW, not anti-homeschool at all, I just think this girl sounded super bored, and if you're making the commitment to homeschool, you probably need to have some strategies in place to make sure the child has things to do - just like you would do on summer vacation).

So OP, not blaming you, just pointing out that maybe you could have done more for the little girl. You shouldn't have HAD to, but it isn't really her fault her mom's a dope! [/quote]

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