Reply to How to come to terms with extrovert ILs who expect constant conversation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know that during family visits, I need to be “on” more. I’m an introvert and I know that during visits, I need to extend and give all I can. So I’m already doing all I can do. I’m already going above and beyond, “sucking it up,” etc.

DH and our kids are introverts, too. We try to get ahead of this dynamic by planning lots of activities when ILs are visiting. Visits can be stifling, as ILs expect full attention 24/7, and even reading a magazine or book is “rude”. My kids are old enough to notice, want time to themselves, and are very uncomfortable when ILs are around.

ILs are able-bodied and have their full mental faculties. This has been a longstanding dynamic, it’s just now at a point where it’s not just DH and me noticing it, the kids are starting to dread their visits, too. They simply don’t want to sit around in a circle and “chat” all the time. They want to be able to move about the house (our own house!) freely, without getting accused of “disappearing” every time they dare to go to their rooms to play or read or relax for a bit. My oldest nearly snapped when they loudly asked “WHERE WERE YOU” for the 500th time, and she was simply in the bathroom. She’s getting to be the age where she doesn’t want to discuss that she was in the bathroom.

Any advice? 
[/quote]

Odd you’re all Introverts yet one set of your parents are Extraverts and still haven’t figured this one out, despite raising one of you for 18+ years.

You’ll have to meet in the middle.
 
No silent dinners
Yes some alone time

No 24/7
Yes some planning outings

No cruise director tour guide
Yes greetings, nice talk, some converse ring throughout the day, when in touch.

Tell them all that. [/quote]

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