Reply to Alcohol use and aging, ill dad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you and the rest of the family doesn't get to have an opinion and I am appalled it's even a topic of discussion.[/quote]

signed, the daughter of an alcoholic[/quote]

Why not when I've been asked for my opinion?[/quote]

As the daughter of an alcoholic in his late 70s, I’m surprised you are still so vested in this. I essentially don’t care if my dad drinks or not. I would love him to not drink and drive but I have zero control. If he drinks himself to death. Fine. If he gets sober, fine. I don’t care.

I think you need to do your own work to unpack why you have any vested interest. [/quote]

I literally had no idea until he was well into retirement. Was never noticeably drunk when we were kids or young adults. He was an active and present dad. Because my parents were divorced I was only at my dad's 2-3 nights a week but we went on vacations together, etc. Never saw him drunk. My stepmom recently told me when he was working he'd stop in the AM and have an "eye opener" on his way to work and a drink with buddies before he got home. I had no idea. I'm vested in how the next several years play out for my dad and stepmom because I love them and care about them.[/quote]

Go to Al Anon with stepmom. There are daily online meetings or if you are in the same area, you could attend in person.

Read stories here re: how enabling his active alcoholism is likely to go

https://www.reddit.com/r/AlAnon/

You HAVE been impacted, you may not realize how https://adultchildren.org/newcomer/am-i-an-adult-child/ read some of the literature.

How can you be both shocked and horrified about his alcoholism and interested in enabling it to continue? Or want to be so in the middle? You seem to have a lot to unpack.

Attend Al Anon today or this weekend with stepmom. Online or in person. [/quote]

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