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[quote=Anonymous]				The girlfriend isn’t insecure if op is sending texts telling her ex to break up with her. She may be bad news, though op’s dig about her looks was just mean. OP, you either want to f**ck him or own him, or both. 
Your ex wouldn’t have cut you off if you were nice. He’d not have quit the side activity if you’d been nice. Why weren’t you? 
You have a husband and your ex got out of the way enough so you could do that. Why won’t you do the same? 
If you do want him in your life, be best friends with the girlfriend. Text her instead of him and if you do text him, group text. Praise her. Treat her like you are privileged to know her. If you want to praise the boyfriend all you need to do is say “You’ve got the best guy around, if he gives you any problems, tell me and I’ll kick his ass for you”. Why aren't you doing that? 
Good for the girlfriend for having proof of how nasty you are and for the boyfriend for taking it seriously. I can see why you want him back despite what you say because it’s obvious that you do. I bet you would cheat if you could. 
My husband had a group of friends that took one look at me and despised me. They commented on my looks and told me he’d cheat on me and sure enough, the one time I wasn’t there, rumors started that he’d cheated. He hadn’t. It nearly broke us up. 
My husband says his biggest regret is not protecting me, he could have cut off the lot of them, he should have cut off the lot of them, and he eventually did do that. My problem was unlike you, I couldn’t prove what was going on, lots of s**** can happen in a girls’ huddle or a ladies’ room that the boys don’t know about or wouldn’t understand if they did. 
Your ex knows exactly what you are capable of and is keeping you away as he should.  You once shared his bed, you decided you no longer wanted to share his bed for whatever reason, the only thing you get to say about any other girlfriend is “she’s lovely and beautiful”. You aren’t his mom or sister, and even those women have limits. My husband’s sister wasn’t my fan when we met, we get along fine now and she’s actually given me some good insight into her brother. He’s got female friends I get along with just fine, many of them have known him way before I did. None of this bothers me. 
Stop behaving as you are, be extra nice to the girlfriend, realize it may take a long time for her to trust you based on *your* behavior, and basically, treat her the way you’d want your husband treated.. assuming you love your husband. Sounds like you don’t. With all your time spent with your ex, I have no idea how you have time to be good to your husband. There just aren’t enough hours in the day for two men op, anybody who has had an affair or known someone who has will tell you that. 
I’m also doubting your version that she’s into drugs. You could make tea with a nun sound unseemly. If she is as into drugs as you say, and your ex used to be a drug user, newsflash, he’s still a drug user. He probably enjoys the drugs and concerts as much as she does because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be dating her. Either it’s harmless think weed at a Dead show or it’s really bad. Either way, he’s allowed to do it. What by the way is a nice girl like you who doesn’t do drugs hanging out with a guy who did and probably still does? The drugs whatever they are aren’t your real concern. If they were, you’d be staying away from him and enjoying your husband who probably isn’t as fine with your affair partner as you think, because let’s face it, you are having an emotional affair with this boyfriend. Soon enough it will become physical, I can guarantee you. [/quote]

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