Reply to I filed for divorce today and feel awful

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Reply to "I filed for divorce today and feel awful"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who was married to someone a lot like you OP, pls take the wise PP's words to heart.

I think you are a bit selfish and self absorbed. Your kids will not be "fine" they now lack something that is fundamental, a sense of foundation and stability. Family is where kids get a sense of themselves. You say you went to therapy, blah, blah. Therapy is the WORST for self absorbed people.

Try thinking of it this way. If divorce was not an option, what could you DO to make your wife feel adored and cherished? Love is a verb. How could you treat her that would give your kids an example of how love between spouses should look? If you only saw the good, what would your description of her and your marriage look like?

I think you want a big pat on the back for not hooking up with someone right away. That again goes all to how you want to see and present yourself. Shift your focus to your kids rather than how their reaction made YOU feel. For my ex, everything always shifts immediately back to his feelings. What about character, commitment to giving them the best start in life, honor, loyalty, etc? What do they want and need and deserve? How can you grow into the man who gives it to them 24/7? How can you show them what a real man who is commited to his family acts like?

Your divorce is about shallowness and selfishness OP. A little volunteer work and tennis won't help you with that.

Some divorced parents see the kids every day or take turns moving in and out of the house. Their lives still center around the well being of the kids and their lives changing as little as possible. Could you fit that in between tennis games?

Lots of folks reconcile while the divorce is pending too OP. 
Read The Five Love Languages for ideas on how to be the man that your wife married.[/quote]

All of this.  Well done, PP.[/quote]

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