Reply to "How are you?" How do you respond when "fine" is a lie?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These posts are making me so much sadder than it would make me to hear an honest response at a party.

OP, I hear you and I care!  How can I be helpful?  What happened?  I’m here to listen!

[/quote]

Thank you, that's really nice. Fortunately my mental health is is decent shape so I won't be triggered by the rude responses on this thread. It does make me sad, too, though, that people would be irresponsible and unkind enough to push someone when they're already down rather than just rolling their eyes and moving on without comment. Can you imagine telling someone who could be fragile that "no one cares about you"?

Anyway, my stuff is not terribly unique, just happening all at once and feeling like a lot in the last two months. I started to write it out but deleted it.

I typically hold my cards close to my chest, smile and move on but it feels like it would be too insincere at this moment to say "fine! How are you?"[/quote]

OP, hope things get better soon.

I used to trauma dump and stopped getting invited to a lot of things when going through a particularly difficult divorce. Social occasions are meant to be LIGHT socializing. Not soul baring or upsetting to others. Close friends, family and therapists are more appropriate recipients of more heavy topics and a party situation is not the place to overshare. The light socializing is meant to be mutual, that is why social conventions exist, to guide things in an expected way.

When I was treated for adult ADD my executive function coach talked about the tendency to overshare and underinvest in reciprocal relationships in women with ADD. I've burned fewer social bridges since.

I hope your season of difficulty improves soon. I also found various types of support groups, whether for divorce or grief over a parent, or challenges with a SN child really valuable. It allowed me to let casual acquaintances be just that. [/quote]

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