Reply to Which years “best” to be SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve been a SAHP for over 15 years, but I would say the most valuable years were from 5th or 6th grade to 9th grade. Kids in late elementary/middle school become involved in more activities like scouts, sports, and music lessons and it’s a lot easier to manage with a SAHP or one with a very flexible schedule. When kids get to high school, they can often catch rides with older neighbors or friends, or ride the activity bus. [/quote]

I WOH, but I'd agree with this.

[b]Realize it's a controversial take, but I actually felt like the baby/toddler years were easiest to outsource care. The older they get, the more complicated things got, and it felt like the caretaker needed to be a family member.[/b][/quote]

I agree with this. I worked a combo of FT and PT when my kid was 0-3, and then due to the pandemic and changes in my industry, I stopped working and haven't gone back and have been very pleased with our family's choice and quality of life. I find that with a 2nd grader who is doing multiple sports, music lessons and other activities, outsourcing the to/fro would be miserable. Ex: It's hard to get a sitter to take your kid to games and be there to cheer them up at the end if there is a bad outcome. A grandparent/aunt/uncle can do that, but otherwise, you need a really good FT nanny or au pair if you can't be there. I will say the kids who with working parents who have those good nannies and au pairs seem to be fine, and the kids who have working parents who have a rotating cast of caregivers cobbled together are also fine, but I know that for ME, I would not be fine with the level of stress and chaos I hear about from those parents who are always stressed about getting their care situations managed.

the tl;dr the kids are fine whatever you do, but it is much easier for you if you can SAHM or expensive outsource. It is a privilege to be able to put your own oxygen mask on first. [/quote]

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