Reply to I filed for divorce today and feel awful

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, something about your post repelled me.  To be honest, many things I read on DCUM drive me batty, but your post was exceptional, and I have read others' reactions carefully.  Some of the dressings-down you received were mean-spirited, but insightful.  I hope you have a sense of humility to listen, and not dismiss the criticisms outright.

For me, what I keep coming back to is your children.  As you clearly stated, you wiped the happiness off their faces.  You destroyed their family, the family they had.  You permanently changed their understanding of marriage, faithful love, selflessness, manliness, etc.  What could be more important than protecting your kids' right to be raised by the parents whose love helped create them?

Do you know what love is?  It is laying down one's life for the beloved.  Would you take a bullet for your kids?  Without thinking, right?  Well, some sacrifices are less dramatic, but just as vital.  Would you lay down your LIFE (as you wish to live it) for them?  No?  Why not?  What is more important?  Ambition? Reading books?  Travel?  Tennis?

I read your clarification that you want to spend time with your kids--those other activities are not more important.  My question is, if your post is for real from the heart, how could you even be THINKING about all the things you get to do FOR YOURSELF now, on the day you formally slice your kids out of your daily life??  The day I lost my kids like that would be the day my soul died.  Your actions speak louder than your words, OP, and your words are frankly disturbing.

Have you ever gone down on your knees in front of your wife, the mother of your children, and asked her forgiveness for all the ways you have wronged her over the years?  Have you ever said you were sorry, and that you want to do better?  When you catalog the ways she falls short, do you do the same for yourself?  How can you know that you are responsible for ruining your children's faith in you and not want to try to make things right, even now?

Please, OP, I don't know you or your wife or your problems, but I do know kids need and deserve BOTH parents.  Please, for their sake, rethink the vows you made to your wife and the commitment you have to those innocent children.  Do you really want to spend the rest of your life without the intimacy a man and a woman share when they raise their children together?  Is there really anything in this world that is more important than the protective love a father has for his wife and kids?

You can do better than what you wrote.  I know you can.[/quote]

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