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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve been seeing a guy for 4 months. I’ve been enjoying getting to know him and I was excited for what could be. Today I randomly got a text from my ex-bf that he was moving back and would love to reconnect.

Ex backstory: We were together for 2.5 years. I planned on marrying him. He got a job offered within his company for a promotion and he took it. We tried to make long distance work but I ended it after 6 months apart. His job would eventually move him back but there was never a concrete timeline. He didn’t want to get married/have kids until we both lived in the same state again. I ultimately decided timing wasn’t on his side and that we needed to move on. I didn’t want to wait up to 3 years. The break up was very hard and we I eventually broke contact completely to move on.

New guy: I met him 5 months after breaking up with my ex. We were set up by friends. It’s been going really well but still very early.

I haven’t replied to my ex yet or I should. Moving on from him was incredibly difficult, and I’m not sure if I could ever go through that again. I also deep down never stopped loving him. The new guy I like too and I can see myself falling in love with him. He’s also very aligned with my timeline and we have a lot of fun together. I didn’t think I would find anyone else after my ex until I met him.

[/quote]

You weren't willing to move for the first guy?[/quote]

OP here. I have a contract with my job that I’m locked into until 2026. I open myself up to a lawsuit if I break it.

Our plan was to do long distance until my contract was up and/or we had a definitive timeline. Long distance was much harder than I thought and our schedules never aligned. We saw each other only once in those 6 months. He told me he could be there for 3 years and that he didn’t want to get married/have kids until we were together again. I was 31 ( now 32) and did not want to wait that long to get married /have kids.

I felt like I was sacrificing a lot but he wasn’t sacrificing anything. [/quote]

That in itself was a red flag, I think - the fact that it was all on his terms; you had to do all of the compromising and sacrificing. And then you only saw each other once…

I would tell him you’re seeing someone and call it a day.[/quote]

OP here. When I say I felt like I was sacrificing, I meant that I felt like me putting marriage/kids on hold for possibly up to 3 years was more of a sacrifice than it was for him. [/quote]

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