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[quote=Anonymous]

1. I prioritize my teens college admissions, OP, so I entirely understand your reluctance to attend this party.

2. Your SIL is selfish and irrational and I am angry at her on your behalf.

3. BUT!
The problem is likely to reoccur because you don't seem to understand when is the right time to avoid, deflect or decline. You should never have showed up! When your husband calls you and starts to insist, you should pretext something to end the call and say you're sorry, it's not possible. You can apologize later, he lives with you and can't stay mad at you forever. If you show up, you show up with a mask and when your SIL asks you to come in, knowing she's a touchy idiot, you humor her by stepping inside and wearing your mask (you can buy N95s, they are proven to protect you). What you do NOT do, is feel put upon because both your idiot husband and your idiot SIL have rudely pressured you to attend, only to snap at the worst possible time and drag in your poor FIL into the fight! This guarantees that you come across as the unreasonable one (to them, not to me).

4. It's very nice you apologized, but really, you were not initially in the wrong. Your SIL is entirely crazy to be offended. Do not apologize any more and ignore her.  Tell your husband YOU are offended and YOU should receive an apology. Tell him he should not have insisted you come, and that you're done with his side of the family until he and they learn to respect your wishes. I say this because I have the feeling you're a very anxious type and apt to be bullied by your spouse and in-laws. Two ways to get out of that: stand up for yourself from the very start and don't budge, and try not to get so anxious about health, etc.

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