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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had kids in my 20s in grad school while we were living in a one-bedroom rental and had no car. When DC1 was born 18 years ago we were making a joint total of 60K. I am so glad I've had this time with my kids and I don't regret it for one single second. We still live a frugal life in a small house and old cars, but we can afford any college for all our kids, and our retirement is taken care of. We don't need more.

This question comes up regularly on here. Right now, there's a thread written by someone in her late 30s who was persuaded by her husband to wait to have kids until they had a house, more income, etc, and who then had infertility issues, and now her father's dead and she's depressed, her husband just told her he didn't think they should have kids.

There will never be a perfect time. You don't need what you think you need. Most people in the world will never be as rich as you, and have kids anyway. DCUM is its own weird "money first, kids later" bubble. And the money they talk about has nothing to do with the working class, or even sometimes the middle class.

In the end, people's innermost desires speak for themselves in the actions they take. Those who really want kids have the kids as early as humanely possible. Those who are on the fence rationalize it by thinking about money and waiting for more.

There is no right answer, only what feels right to you. Hopefully it's also what feels right to your spouse. But I'm here to tell you that infertility may dog you when you're older, IVF doesn't always work, and it's best to be a young and fit parent if you can. You don't need a house right away, and you don't need a big fancy wedding either. [/quote]

Exactly.  I had my first kids in my 20s.

I'd like to add that the woman should have a bachelor's degree first. I've never used it, but it's a way of ensuring a path to work should she ever need it. That said, my sister in law married at 18 and is now a practicing speech therapist with a masters degree... people have different trajectories [/quote]

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