Reply to How to handle girl-drama, 2nd grade edition.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also think making sure kids are not labeling other kids as bad based on what is typically a temporary behavior. We also teach our kids it is ok not to be friends with others if they are being treated in unkind way. Unfortunately, this worked great only until they were around 9 or 10.

Like many other schools (and for good reasons), our school has a culture where kids should not exclude others from activities. The problem is when you have a repeat soft undermining behavior, not bullying when looked at individual instances, but damaging in the long run, especially in terms of self esteem and standing among friends.

My DC has two classmates who have been hot and cold to her for years. When they do or say mean staff to her, she calls it out and distances herself. A few days later, they start acting nice like nothing happened. DC cannot exclude them any longer as they are now nice and individual incidents don’t seem to be too bad on the surface, but, inevitably, the cycle repeats. It can be exhausting to watch this over and over again. If those were adults, we could easily remove ourselves from such situations, our kids don’t always have that luxury in the small school environment. From that aspect, I am not sure that “until nice again” advice is the best. But I haven’t found a better approach to address this issue.[/quote]

Dd has a situation with two girls who are supposedly besties but [b]when one of them is out from school, the other plays with her[/b]. We talk about that friends should be kind and inclusive all the time, but I don’t know if this is sticking (dd is 7) as the cycle continues.  [/quote]

This isn't the same and the bolded seems normal.[/quote]

DP. Wrong.[/quote]

It is wrong. It is how girls that age bully:  purposefully excluding others from play some days and creating “rules” of when so and so can play with so and so. I have noticed that parents that believe this is “normal “ communicate their thoughts to their kids. [/quote]

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