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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a stepdaughter, refraining from calling your husband's daughter "the girl" would be a huge step in the right direction.[/quote]

This bothered me, too, and may be one of the things that's causing some PPs to opine that OP doesn't care about her daughter. [/quote]

[b]I think you guys are reading too much into this and possibly bringing your own biases about stepmothers to the conversation.[/quote][/b]

They ALWAYS do this on this board. If a stepmother posts showing concern for a situation regarding her stepchild, she gets told she needs to mind her own business. If she posts a general question of something she is unsure about, she gets told she sounds like she hates/resents the stepchild and shouldn't have married a man who had kids. I see it time and time again on the special concerns board. The moms on this board are RABID toward stepmoms.

OP, I'm a stepmother too, and I think the situation is a bit weird. When we have DSS and DH has to go into work, of course DSS just hangs out with me for the day. He tags along on whatever me and DC are doing (DC is much younger than DSS which is why I say "tag along," typically these are not activities that DSS would normally do, but they get him out of the house with us, so he goes) and then DH will do whatever with him when he gets home- take him outside to play basketball, go to a movie, whatever. But if we have made plans to have DSS and DH finds out he will be going out of town, we do not still take DSS. He stays with his mom. Some posters are jumping on you for acting like you don't have a responsibility to your stepdaughter, which is ridiculous, because of your do, but not OVER her own parents' responsibility. Those two, first and foremost, are responsible for her. So if primary care cannot be done by your husband, it should be done her mom. For our arrangement and situation, it would never happen that DH would go out of town and DSS would still come and stay with me and DC. He is with one or the other of his parents. [/quote]

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