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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP depending on type and stage of cancer and the treatment that got her into remission, your child’s bestie’s mom might never regain her precancer health and energy levels, she remains immune compromised within a few years of having cancer and treatment and she is absolutely right to limit the kid traffic in her home because kids of all ages are Petri dishes of communicable disease.

And yes, if she has diminished energy and needs to manage her stress, she should be focusing her all on her own family and not on hosting playdates.

And her daughter should not be blamed nor should you be judging her mother or making snark comments to your kid.

Be grateful you’ve not had cancer thus far in your life. Show some grace. [/quote]

I'm in year 2 after successful cancer treatment, in remission, and I am not back to anything close to my precancer health and energy levels.  I have some likely permanent side effects from the treatment that have created other health problems and invisible disability that are a chore to deal with.  To most people I look fine, but I'm not.  It's been enormously frustrating and discouraging, and like OP's friend I've realized I need to prioritize myself/my family and keep stress at bay.  I don't host anything.  I'm fortunate that my kid is slightly older and more capable of arranging things for themselves; at most I may have to drive them somewhere.

OP - Decide how much you want and are able to do to help your kid maintain the friendship.  That's where your focus needs to be.[/quote]

Okay but these girls are. tweens, not toddlers who need their asses wiped. Tweens can go off and play for a couple of hours while you lie on the couch. [/quote]

Tweens don't go off and play.   And, not everyone has a big house.[/quote]

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