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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "DH pressuring me to do something I can't"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don't want to share, that's fine, but I do wonder from the way you talk about it if it's all or nothing - if you can't do it all the way, at the level you did before, then you don't want to do it at all. Are there ways to do it that aren't all encompassing? Like, this isn't a great exmaple, but snorkeling for a while and not scuba? Or if it's skiing, doing the greens and not the blacks because you don't want knee surgery. Or maybe you don't jump horses, but you start trail riding or you start lessons or you volunteer at a stables or whatever. It sounds like there are logistical hurdles - but sometimes people over inflate logistics just to say no, or their depression/anxiety over inflates logistics. Maybe thinking there's no time limit? So sure, you need surgery, but that's one step on the road to recovery. And if it takes months, well, that's ok. ALl in all, I'd encourage you to rethink and all or nothing approach in general - seeking pleasure from what is, not from what you think it should be. And start to think of adjacent ways to get a fix of that hobby. [/quote] This is really helpful. Thanks. A few years ago, I did try greens and not the blacks, to use your example. I got SO MUCH pushback from other participants because this is activity where it's clear I'm at a higher level. But maybe I need to push back at those people myself. That's a really good reminder. [/quote] I am SO curious what this mystery activity is and wish you would just tell us! What kind of pushback? Like people you knew from your semi-pro days are disappointed you’re not pushing it to get back to it? From other people on the greens and blues pissed that you’re taking up space on their crowded slope when you could be on the empty other side of the mountain? It’s really hard to imagine why anyone else would care what you do with your own body/free time.[/quote] Not OP, but I used to do a form of martial arts and was pretty advanced and won quite a few competitions. After taking time off to have DS and an injury, I couldn't go back to the level I was at so I joined the beginner/intermediate classes at my local studio. Definitely got some pushback/gossip from some people who knew the level I had been at. [/quote]
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