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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Damn I woke the beasts.  I was hoping for helpful sane DCUM.

First of all, we didn’t come from money so this isn’t Muffy buys a library to get little Princess in. We had to work so hard. And now we have a better life so maybe our kids aren’t feeling that push that we had.

And of course don’t take my school literally. Just representative of what our collective goals were for so long: very strong schools.

Secondly, I am SURE you all want your kids to to top schools. You all talk about it all the time here. So, so do we. But I am trying navigate that plan with my daughter in front of me right now and hear her while also acknowledging that we are dealing with an adolescent and all that comes with. And I want to do the right thing.

It’s a reasonable question. And only sane DCUM need respond. [/quote]

I have to say, OP, that I find it difficult to believe that you actually went to an Ivy League school given how poorly you write. Or maybe you’re just writing quickly and stressfully because you yourself are so stressed out.  Which again leads to the question:  who is the one who REALLY wants this?  You or your kid?

I came from nothing as well.  I ended up in fancy schools and in a very high paying and prestigious job and with four kids.  Some of them went to fancy colleges and others didn’t.  Fast forward a few years and the college that each went to has had no impact on their professional lives or their happiness.  Zero.

This is consistent with numerous studies showing that going to a fancy college is more important to advancing professionally for a “come from nothing” than for a middle or upper class kid.

The bottom line is that your kid doesn’t need the leg up that you did.  So you can and should relax for both of your sakes.  [/quote]

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