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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.[/quote]

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January. [/quote]

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.[/quote]

This is precisely what I was going to say after reading this story. Most 14-17 year olds are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle what comes with an exclusive, romantic relationship.

They can’t moderate nor maintain a realistic perspective and often throw waste their potential away by being “depressed” over a relationship that was never worth being depressed over to begin with, as OP’s son is doing.

OP, I know you said he doesn’t open up to DH, but I agree with the other poster who said he might have been so intense because he lacks emotional intimacy in general.

I would encourage him to open up to his father and make friends about this. The fact that he only feels comfortable opening up about his feelings to you and his gf means he needs to work on building emotionally secure relationships with men. Maybe then he won’t be so clingy and fatalistic over this one girl.[/quote]

I failed my second semester at college because I was definitely played and thought we were in love. I had zero dating in high school and was just dumb and thought this was my first love. I couldn’t eat, go to class, my roommate was so concerned she contacted my parents. Pretty humiliating. I would have rather had that in high school with my parents and forever friends support.

So I don’t think an 18yr old is any better with dealing with this than a 15/16 yr old unless… they had experience.

First loves or first attachments are just tough in general. [/quote]

I don't know about you, but there was a big dfiference in my emotional and mental maturity as an 18 year old vs. a 15 year old.

I too held off on dating until college and I'm more than happy with that choice as I was much better equipped to ride that rollercoaster as a young adult (18-20) versus as a teen (14-17).[/quote]

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