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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I married someone who was wildly different from the type of person I thought I would marry, and I married young.  Those were “me” issues and reconciling them early in my marriage was really hard, and I remember that many years later but I think it was all pretty silly now.

If you get married young (by DCUM standards) you have to do a lot of growing up with your spouse, and that can be hard.

Some people are also just harder to live with.  DH has anxiety and gets discombobulated over seemingly nothing.

But overall, when I have needed him or things have been really bad, he has been the person I turn to or rely on.  That’s the purpose of marriage as far as I can tell, because life is not always going to be easy and I’m not sure it should be, or that being an “easy” person is a good thing.

A lot of people make things “easy” for their spouses but they are actually conflict avoidant and miserable inside and then they blow everything up by having an affair or leaving.[/quote]

I also got married young, don’t regret it but agree we had a lot of growing up to do. Marriage was easy until we had kids. We had the same theoretical ideas about how to raise kids but when reality hit we had to adjust and it has been hard. One of our kids has life long medical needs, one has minor SN. There has been a lot of stuff that has to be agreed upon and managed. I often feel my my spouse is fighting a battle between his own morals and priorities and the pressure to give everything to work. It has been harder to watch than I expected. His heart is good and I see him pushing back against the pressure but it is something that I personally can’t relate to, almost like an addiction. There’s a lot that’s good about my marriage and my spouse is a good person but yes it’s hard. [/quote]

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