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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had GF like this and it was fine because it really as just a check in.

If we had something to discuss we did, but otherwise I knew it wasn't going to turn into a 30 minute conversation where I'm dying for a pause to head into the "I'll let you go now" routine that could take another 10-15 mins.[/quote]

OP here. That is how I see it as a check in. I’ve always had those in serious relationships. It’s never been something I’ve had to discuss before. The relationship just naturally evolved into that once we realized we were into each other. [b]I see it as similar to a good morning text.[/b] I don’t think it’s controlling at all when me and a partner have a check-in routine. No one is making the other person do it. [b]We are doing it because we want to connect and don’t want the other person to worry. [/b]It helps to lay a groundwork of consistency in the relationship in my opinion. It’s the precursor to a partner coming home every night should the relationship get to living together. [/quote]

It is absolutely nothing like a good morning text.  And you are not doing it because you want to connect, you're doing it because you are insecure and controlling.

OP, you wrote, "Honestly, I just need that nightly reassurance that he is home."  So you wouldn't believe he is home if he doesn't prove it?

You also wrote, "on my end I’m unable to feel like we are for sure in a monogamous relationship without this element."  That is, frankly, nuts.

Another PP hit the nail on the head - if this were a man requiring this of a woman, it would (correctly) be viewed as controlling and a massive red flag.  And the fact that you think it is completely normal, and don't feel like you're in a monogamous relationship without this, is just as big a red flag.

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