Reply to Mom does not want grandkids in the same country when she is recovering

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would go anyway and just not visit your mom, unless it's by yourself just to check on her and say hi.

Kids can be difficult to deal with when you are recovering from something, and I would be concerned that there is something wrong with her she doesn't want the kids to see.  So would go anyhow but keep the kids away from her. 
 [/quote]

OP barely mentions her dad. Does he not want to see the kids? And I don't see what there is to deal with since op and the kids wouldn't stay with the mom. She barely has to see the kids at all.[/quote]

Op - this is the thing - she has done this now twice (twice planned/ once unplanned) and it also affects my dad who is now like her zombie caretaker. They are both obsessed with every detail  of her declining mental and physical health. I have no idea what I’ll do if my dad passes away bc she requires round the clock laser focus on her issues and I’m an only child with a crazy job and two kids in a different country.

I have lost sight of what is and is not the right thing to do bc I do love them and want to be there for them and don’t want the kids to never see them - but they also seem to want - on some level- to have very limited interaction with the kids and only slightly less limited interaction with me. Tho I think my dad does like when I come alone bc I help him and we have a glass of wine and he has a bit of a break.

Sigh - idk. [/quote]

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