Reply to Mom does not want grandkids in the same country when she is recovering

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spring 2023 we were meant to visit my parents in europe. Mom scheduled a planned surgery for right when we were meant to come, so we had to cancel. We rebooked for Thanksgiving, but at that time she had an orthopedic issue that was very painful and didn't want us to come so we cancelled again. We have the kids spring break soon, and planned to take time off and travel with them and take them back again, but she scheduled her surgery for the first day of spring break and now says she doesn't want to see them for the whole time. I offered to go alone for her surgery, have the kids meet me there and go to a neighboring country with them for a week, have them fly back through home country in case she feels like saying hi (and so my dad can say hi, see friends) and she says that is not ok bc she will feel obligated and also sad that she can't see them if they are nearby. I understand how she feels but it's getting hard to avoid my home country entirely. wwyd?[/quote] I

Why wouldn't you mom want to see your kids?  How badly do you want to visit?    How much does she need you?  If she thought the kids weren't there would she expect you to be with her?  Does she even want to see you?[/quote]

she wouldn't want to see them as will be post surgery and in pain (spinal fusion is a doozy)
they have live in round the clock care. 
i think minus the kids she'd be happy for me to be there for a while, yes. and i plan to be there alone for a while, which is why it makes sense for all of us to come during spring break and then them to leave me, rather than we go somewhere on this continent for spring break and then i have to go to a new continent. [/quote]

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