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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This rang a few bells.  Is this you, OP?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1174345.page

If so, it sounds like the dynamic has been a sh*t show for a while.  The SIL in that older thread was asked to do a lot of elder care, almost tricked into it and the FIL treated her pretty terribly. I can see why she’d be stressed and over it.[/quote]

op here - yes! That was me. Hopefully this thread won’t get deleted now because I’ve posted about my inlaws and their dynamic in the past. I think Jeff wants threads to continue rather than create new ones …

But yes, there’s multiple dynamics here. The SIL in that post is not the biological daughter, she married my BIL (my husbands brother) and they all live together.

My other SIL who is the daughter of MIL has taken FMLA and lives down the road. [/quote]

Thanks OP, I was the poster that referenced the earlier thread.  It wasn’t meant as a gotcha, just further clarified that there are all kinds of things going on with multiple family members.  I know your FIL is upset and grieving, but it seems unsustainable that your DH is doing all the driving when other options have been shot down by your FIL and his other children won’t step up.  Maybe your husband can try to set some limits so others will have to pitch in.  And your FIL should tell the doctor that your DH can ask about your MIL’s condition.  Being kept in the dark about it doesn’t help anyone.[/quote]

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