Reply to How to navigate care for aging parent(s) when siblings live elsewhere?

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[quote=Anonymous]Do you know what kind of elder services there are in your city/county?  Get them on their radar and assigned a social worker.

Moving in and putting your life on hold isn’t the answer if it isn’t something you want to do.  Figure out what you are willing and able to do and let go of the other things.  You may need to move out and talk to someone who can help you accept some of the not-so-great choices your parents make.

A little white lie can help in several instances.  If you need someone to come in, tell your parents that they are in training and need to practice with live people.  This worked well for our neighbors and we got them to accept a worker coming in weekdays to help with cooking, shopping, laundry, dressing, showering …getting an evaluation to help put in things to prevent falls (like bars in the bathroom, chair elevators on stairs, three pronged canes).  It also helped to use the word “temporarily”.  My in-laws moved into assisted living “temporarily “ so that FIL could recover from surgery. Then postpone coming home again and again and again.  MIL did not want to give up her car there, so she had the keys in a bowl and she cou”d see it from a window, but the car was made nonfunctional ala ‘Sound of Music’ so she couldn’t go anywhere.

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