Reply to How to navigate care for aging parent(s) when siblings live elsewhere?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You made the choice to move into your parents house and take this on.

They are making the choice not to do that.

Both choices are valid.   [/quote]

OP, you can also make the choice to move further away than your brothers. (This is almost always a sister, and it is a pattern that repeats over and over and over again.)

The only tenable solution for longterm is one that involves all the progeny, if it involves any of them. If your siblings will not step up, you must make them step up. If not, you will be setting yourself on fire to keep the place warm, and you will burn to ashes.

Over and over and over again.

[/quote]

You cannot make adults do what they don't want to do. [/quote]

I think what this poster means is.. as long as you keep doing it, the other siblings will not step up. Set your boundaries. Tell them no more. Tell them exactly what needs to be done. "There's a cardiology appt on March 17, I can't go, you two figure it out. Mom needs diapers, send them. Taxes need to be filed and paid, the mail is in the living room for you to sort out."

Your parents need to be in assisted living, OP. I'm living this life with the same deadbeat siblings and it's time to tell your parents enough is enough. I know how painful that is and I have a mother who verbally beats me up every single day for this decision, but trying to helping her live independently nearly killed me and robbed my young kids of the best parts of me. You have a lot more life to live than they do. Your family needs you and the priority is you and your family unit.     [/quote]

ICYMI: most people can’t afford assisted living.

I know a single person who pays $11k per month for assisted living. [/quote]
DP here 
Then they spend down all their assets and go into a Medicaid home. [/quote]

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