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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if dietary things are part of "from abroad" like no meat, Kosher, whatever. If it's simple order pizza or get frozen pizzas and bake them maybe throw some extra shredded cheese on. Serve with wine or beer or sparkling water..if they are passing thru they don't need lots of alcohol or staying late. Serve whatever you can almost ungrudgingly afford. Dessert can be ice cream, sauce, whipped cream, spring for sprinkles and cherries. Real American![/quote]

I think this is partly what I dread. There is always someone who is not pleased with the food, won't eat X, Y or Z, and I know this group will be "foodies" so lasagna or pizza would seem insane to them, like serving a kid's meal. [/quote]

But you don’t have to please them. You don’t have to perform for them. You don’t.

OP, what is it you feel you most need right now? Do you long to be told it’s okay to do it in a scaled down way even if you might — might!— be judged by foodies? Do you want a kind of psychological permission slip to not do it at all, or to do a glass of wine instead? Do you want recipes for an easy make-ahead that will look more impressive than it is? Do you want to be reassured that the evening  will be better than you fear?

This dinner is causing a lot of anxiety for you. It doesn’t matter what “should” be. That’s what *is.* This situation is causing you real distress. Sit with that, let it in: You are in distress over this dinner. There will be time to unravel all the “why” of your distress later — maybe you need to see someone, to do gradual exposure therapy, to consider anti-anxiety medication. But right now, you need to figure out what will ease your distress about this particular situation. How can people help? 
[/quote]

I think what would help me is for these people to realize it's not ok to ask me this? I would never ever ask this of someone personally, impose on strangers, so it makes me feel like they will not be nice guests and easy to please because they are already demanding I host them in a rude way. I think I am a little angry about it and venting more than anything because I don't have anyone irl I can talk to this about. [/quote]

OP, they will not realize anything, and you can’t make them realize anything. I know you know this, but the only one you have control over in this situation is you. This is a situation that requires your being proactive. You will have to meet your own needs.

Personally, I think this dinner is not worth your distress. I understand what PPs are saying when they tell you to suck it up and get through it, but I also see that you are in deep distress. The distress may or may not be proportional to the situation at hand, but that doesn’t matter, bc it’s real.

By extension, it is also likely true that the value of the dinner to these people, and even to your dad, is disproportionately small relative to the magnitude of distress it is causing you. [/quote]

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