Reply to This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have to stop helping him. Just stop. Also stop asking him to do things like vacuum or clean. Things won’t get done the way you want and they often won’t get done. It will still suck, but it will be a better dynamic than you have now.

Honestly, better. It’s much better if you don’t try to control other adults. It’s possible that he’ll watch you scrubbing the toilet while he sits on the couch and he’ll suddenly go pick up the vacuum. It’s also possible, and perhaps more likely, that he’s still sitting on the couch with his thumb up his rear when you walk out the door for the last time. But that’s still better than trying to be his mommy.

You have to stare into the abyss here and get cool with the risk. You have to let him be who he is and accept that it might not be good enough. You’ll get to a more honest place and then you can decide what to do. [/quote]

THIS x infinity

I would also stop assuming he’s deliberately trying to “force” you to do anything and instead consider the possibility that he JUST.DOES.NOT.CARE about these things.

For example, it sounds like he’ll make sure your kid eats but he can’t be bothered to jump through all the hoops laid out by the dietician.  I admit I rolled my eyes at the description of your picky eater, so maybe he also thinks it’s stupid.

My husband does so much around the house in terms of straightening up (I am the messy clutter bug) but other than stuff like dishes he just doesn’t clean.  As far as I know he doesn’t expect me to do it, I think he simply doesn’t notice or care if it’s been a month since we’ve vacuumed or something.  (Obvious acute messes are different, of course.)

I’m the partner who tends to ignore the school stuff.  It’s not great, but I feel like they send home so much useless information that I just can’t be bothered anymore.  My kids will tell me themselves if there’s something actually important coming up.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics