Reply to Give me ALL the talking points for talking to parents about downsizing and/or moving

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who is now an empty nester at 52, I'm actually giving thoughts to downsizing with my fiancee. Here are a couple of the things holding us back:

1) [b]Pure economics. At the moment, selling our house and finding something even a few thousand square feet smaller (if we can find it) would end up costing us near the same as we pay now and reset our mortgage because of the interest rate differential. We can afford it, but we don't really WANT to, especially with the transaction and moving costs involved.[/b]

2) Finding the right housing stock. I realize we're 52, not 72, but we're not eager to move into a place with shared walls if we can avoid it. But on the flip side, most of where we need to live (because we are still working for the next 15 years or so) is all giant homes on huge lots. It's really difficult to find a modest SFH -- blame past zoning/planning policies.

I might feel differently at 72 or 73, but generally speaking, we're down with people (I mean it, people SUCK) and have no desire to live in a high-density community. I realize that needing access to medical care down the road could change that equation.[/quote]

I'm surprised no one is talking about this. This is a great point/reason why OP's parents may not want to move. We moved 2.5 years ago when interest rates were low. If we bought the same house for the same price today, we would be paying 33% more per month due to how much the interest rates have gone up. Maybe OP's parents are worried about the cost of housing right now. Even though OP says she lives in an affordable area, her parents would be paying a lot more for a house in her area right now than they would if they wait until interest rates go down again. Maybe wait and have this conversation if/when that happens.

OP, my parents are similar. They are 72 (my mom) and 75 (my dad) years old and live in a big house filled with stuff and they live far away from all 3 of their adult children. And they have no family local to them nor do they have many local friends. It stresses me out. They are healthy (for now) but I know that won't last. But they love their house, they love their stuff, my dad has lived in the city they're in his entire life and they've been in their house for 40 years (it is my childhood home). I seriously doubt anything can persuade them to move unless they are forced to due to a health crisis of some sort.

I also think you should look at #2 on PP's list of reasons she doesn't want to move. My parents and many people do not want to live in an apartment/condo type retirement community. They don't want to be that close to other people after so long of having a big house/big yard/more separate space. I don't blame them on that point. Would you want to live in a much smaller apt/condo, in very close proximity to others after years of being used to having your own space?

I think the only possible way you can sell them on moving is, again, if they experience a health crisis that makes living in their current home unsafe/unmanageable or *maybe* if you sell them on the idea of seeing their grandkids more often and being more involved in grandkids' lives. 
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