Reply to Young Professional DD Self Harm Event

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not sure why you are associating your daughter’s boyfriend with whatever caused her self harm. Reading your first few sentences I assumed she had stress or anxiety over her job and that was possibly a caused her self harm. Have you asked your daughter if she struggling at work or with life after college graduation, which can be very different?[/quote]

I have inquired although I do not believe I am always told the whole truth. My impression is that my DD is enjoying that early part of your career - experiencing success - recent promotion. Takes pride in her work and genuinely seems to enjoy her first professional job.

On the day of the event she was texting with DW and DD and had plans with DS to go out after work. We lost contact with her in the middle of the afternoon after active texting with family members. Medical professionals have expressed that she needs to learn coping skills to handle bad news and one intimated to my DW that it was related to a romantic relationship.

As I am learning by others sharing their insights I should not be focusing on the cause (which I was/am) and should focus on helping my DD get healthy which is one of the take-aways I have from this posting.[/quote]

"I am not sure why you are associating your daughter’s boyfriend with whatever caused her self harm."

Because a medical professional stated so. There is a definitive nexus here between BF and DD.  That fact cannot be ignored. The fact that DD has plans to go out with her brother after work is also significant. Perhaps BF expressed jealousy and made some sort of demand/ultimatum.

OP, while you certainly cannot control your adult daughter's relationships, neither can you ignore red flags and your gut instincts. Your family should be supportive of DD and encourage her to be honest and forthcoming about what her troubles are - you love her no matter what.[/quote]

I don’t understand why the medical professional would allow the boyfriend to be in the room with the daughter if they thought he was the reason for her self harm. [/quote]

OP here.

That’s a very good point.

My wife, who is a medical professional, asked the Doctor if it was related to “a man”,  implying romantic partner, and my wife says the Doctor gave her look which she took to be affirmative without actually saying anything.

But you raise a very fair point.[/quote]

You need to stop reading into things. If your wife was looking for the doctor to affirm her thought about the boyfriend she would take any look, body language etc and assume he was affirming. [/quote]

OP here.

I understand and appreciate your perspective.

As I am learning I really only need to focus on providing unconditional support.

Thank you.[/quote]

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