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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents are still living at 87 years old. Every time I drive home after visiting their very expensive and supposedly great nursing facility I cry. I don't consider any of us lucky. [/quote]

This is me exactly. It's awful to feel this way and I would only ever say it on this anonymous board, but I wish my mother had died 10 years ago. I loved her my whole life, and when I cry after visiting her it's mostly because I miss the days of being young and loving my mom so much. I have no love for the woman I visit now, and it's a horrible feeling. I haven't visited her for three months (in my defense, they wouldn't allow visitors for weeks around Christmas because of Covid, but still), and I am filled with guilt. But the extreme anxiety of visiting her in that place--all those people just staring into space, her coming out of the bathroom with poop all over her hands and clothes, not remembering the things she just told me, five times, it all just keeps me from going (that and the 3-hour drive and having no time to do it). Maybe it doesn't help OP, but having an extremely old parent is not the same as having the parent you had when you were younger.[/quote]

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