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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a 14 year old son. I am an only parent for the last year. In the last year, of course the emotional stuff is terrible, but I'm increasingly anxious about my work coverage. Nothing I've done seems to be working to get me coverage. I thought I'd throw out a "hail mary" pass and just see if anyone has any additional ideas I should consider.

1) Son plays on a travel sports team and l.o.v.e.s. the team, the sports (he's active) and I think it's healthy for him to have this community. It means he has practices and matches.
2) Son has sadness and has a therapist who does animal-assisted therapy. This means virtual therapy is not very helpful. So he also has therapy. He also has a psychiatrist (more driving and appointments).
3) Son is social and has friends all over, which means drop offs and pick ups and hosting kids and buying food for these kids.

One of these days he will drive and once he is driving safely, my life may improve. Until then, I am facing serious drain on my work schedule and this is coming to a head, because I have a staff vacancy that I have to hire and cover.

[b]I have tried hiring a driver, but the only people who responded were an older couple and the guy was creepy and they had limited hours.[/b] I might consider trying this again for afternoon driving to practice/appointments.

I have tried an au pair, but my son at 14 is sassy and not a sweet little kid. He and Au Pair fight all the time. It can't be good for either of them. Mostly they want me to mediate, which frustrates me, because I am paying for the au pair to be able to work my job, not resolve conflict between the two of them (like getting him up in the morning, getting him out the door to his sport practice, etc.)

I am thinking about firing au pair and using Uber. Am I insane? 
I have seriously considered quitting my job, but it is our health insurance and that makes me very nervous. Again, I have to ask if I'm insane?

I feel so anxious and distressed. I have barely survived the last two years and I shudder to imagine how I will not get fired if this continues for another 2-1/2 years.[/quote]

Posters keep telling you to "find" college kids, etc. who are willing to drive, but I hear what you said in the bolded, OP. My DH used to tell me the same when I would express concern about the after school EC schedule for our 3 kids. The situation as I've experienced is that this is a hard job to fill because it's not very appealing. Having an au pair might be overkill, but from a structural standpoint, I get it. It's reliable which then saves you time/energy. No offense to the posters, but the piecemeal suggestions are the worst for someone who is overwhelmed and needs to free up mental energy. This is where using a service like Hop Skip Drive or Alto makes more sense, but it's expensive. [/quote]

I had this issue with an elder parent, but a child, but I hired a male grad student for a years in the mid 2000's. As a grad student, he had a lot of flexibility but was very serious about his academics and I felt like I could trust him. I think a college student could work, but it might also be difficult because they are not that much older than your son. Another person I hired was a male teacher who was unmarried and didn't have kids (late 20's). Given that their work hours end at the same as your son's school, that could work out great. Just giving you two ideas of possible males to hire if you don't want to go the au pair route again. Good luck, OP. I hope your co-workers are aware of your situation and are sympathetic. My co-worker has been dealing with her father's bad health for the last couple of years and all of us on her team will pitch in to help her every time, even when it's weeks on end. I don't know what you do, but I'm a lawyer and life is more important than work every time. I would think your co-workers would have some empathy for you. Not that you should abuse it, but don't be afraid to ask for help. [/quote]

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