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[quote=Anonymous]We got engaged at nine months and married at 16 months. We did not live together. There have been some things — both good and bad — that we could not truly anticipate. For example, I could not see quite how bad his ADHD was until we had kids. But the reality is that he is super involved and does lots of cleaning and kid stuff. But I am the great orchestrator of it all and definitely have to do all the cooking. I think we ultimately have a more equitable labor split than most couples.

I could never have really predicted just how incredibly supportive he is of my career. I would not have anticipated that I would outearn him by several multiples. Most men would freak out about a wife who travels and works as much as I have over the years. And then they get all insecure when their wife makes more than them — I don’t have this problem.

I also could never have predicted how he would have dealt with having one kid with profound intellectual disability and another kid with cancer. He has been amazing when many men bail under such ridiculously challenging circumstances.

But overall, there haven’t really been “surprises”. I knew I was marrying a fundamentally good man and that we had a shared values system. Nothing about that has changed. Married now for almost 20 years.[/quote]

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