Reply to Boyfriend keeps praising me for being “easy.”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree this is probably about his ex or prior relationships generally-- you may just be a better fit.

I do think it's worth it to ask him though. I have dated guys who praised me a lot for being "chill" or easy to get along with, who then bailed at the first disagreement. Only he really knows what he means by this. Could be he likes how self-sufficient you are. Could also be that he has no conflict resolution skills and likes that there's no conflict. I'd ask.[/quote]

This is what I was thinking too. He’s praising it because he likes things to be easy, which, fair enough, who doesn’t. But if you combine your life more it may not stay these easy so I wouldn’t want a relationship dynamic that was largely based on me making someone else’s life easy. I don’t know that there’s much you can do besides keep being yourself and really pay attention to how he handles situations where you aren’t “easy” or possibly ask something of him, which is part of being in a relationship that is more serious [/quote]

OP. Right. This is my concern. Hard things happen, relationships have hard moments and conflicts. What if he wants it to stay easy.[/quote]

I'm the one above who thinks this is about his past experiences but also am wary of guys who are too enamored with me being "chill." I would ask him.

You seem really straightforward as a person so I'd stick with that approach and just say, "Hey I've noticed you often refer to me as 'easy' and I was wondering what you meant by that." I would also start a conversation with him about past relationships. Obviously you can decide how much you want to share regarding your prior abusive relationship, but I think opening the door to talking about the baggage you both bring to the relationship (and you both have baggage, even if he claims he doesn't -- everyone with a past has some baggage) might help you figure out a bit more about both how he views you and what he's looking for in a relationship.

I think it's smart of you to be thinking about whether he is prepared for the normal ups and downs of a healthy relationship, given your history and the fact that you have kids. Good luck, I hope he just means he finds it easy to hang out with you or that you guys seem to be on the same page.[/quote]

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