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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do think it's harder if video games are a big part of the social culture at your kids school or in your community. And yes, boys tend to do this more so I think it's harder with boys. We have friends whose kids used video games as a primary source of socializing during the pandemic because they could get on and play together virtually, and that's how they'd talk and interact. Now they can do more in person of course, but that habit is set. It's such a catch-22. I don't think they wish they had kept kids off screens during the pandemic when it was such a valuable outlet for them. But now what?

We take a minimalist approach to screens but don't ban them. My kid can watch TV (on an actual TV screen) a few times a week, one of which is a family movie night. No phone, no tablet. But school is the issue -- they use tablets in school and there's an educational app that gets assigned with their homework. Even when it's optional, there are often rewards associated with doing it, and I feel like we are the ONLY ones who care about the screen exposure of using this app at home. I also think there's real benefit to doing this sort of work (math, phonics, reading comp, grammar) with paper and pencil. I feel like we are in a constant push-pull over how much of this to allow. We let DC use my spouse's tablet (I don't have one) to do it sometimes. It's not part of our daily routine.

For me it's all about staving off the phone conversation as long as possible, and then setting ourselves up to create good boundaries with any device my kid eventually gets. We have lots of conversations about how screens are not inherently bad, but they are addictive and can pull you away from other things that are very worthwhile and make life worth living. [b]So part of it is about filling our lives with music, art, conversation, games, nature, etc., so that there are always lots of desirable alternatives to staring at a screen.[/b] It's hard.[/quote]

I have learned so much about music, art, conversation, games, and nature through screens. Screens aren't the problem. Usage of the screens is the problem. Teach your kids how to use screens properly, and they will take themselves off of them when they don't need to be on them.[/quote]

That's fine but it's also good to learn about those things in ways that are NOT mediated by screens. Screen dependency is a real thing.

I partially agree with you -- I do think screens are inevitable and that you need to expose your kids to them so they learn to use them appropriately. And being vigilantly anti screen doesn't do this because then kids don't understand how to moderate.

But I do think that on some level, it is the screens themselves that are the problem. Even when you are engaging in a good screen use, screens hold attention and smooth out experiences in ways that books, in-person interaction, and hands-on activities do not. I'm not super anti-screen but I think it's important to understand WHY screens have this effect on us. Like we really try to restrict handheld screens in our house, whenever possible, because I think it changes the relationship between the user and the screen in a way that makes it more addictive and destructive.

I don't think screens are just neutral. They have their place but they are kind of like alcohol to me -- not bad but with some inherent dangers.[/quote]

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