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[quote=Anonymous]OP, had a similar situation. My sister (oldest in family) is a hoarder.

When my dad died and we were cleaning out his house (prior to hoarding being well-recognized as it is now) it was the first time I realized she had a problem and it was out of control. She insisted on saving an old baby food jar with rotted rubber bands in it because "there might be a good one in there."

As the second POA, I had to step in and engage with the attorney after a year trying to get estate settled. My sister was incapable of it. To this day, she still has rusted, rotten items from my father's estate in her garage. It's been more than 20 years.

Same happened when our mother died.

Throughout both these experiences, sister was nasty, insulting and verbally abusive/screaming to the rest of us siblings. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth when we met with attorney, however. She spoke in such a calm, intelligent way with him. It's because she wanted us to look like money-grubbers and she was the rational one.

One thing to prepare yourself for now is that you relationship with the hoarder sibling will change when your parents are gone. I tried to maintain the relationship for a loooong time but finally decided that cutting her out of my/my family's life was the only viable solution.

Haven't seen or communicated with her in years and don't have any regrets. [/quote]

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