Reply to MIL always wants to randomly stop by

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "MIL always wants to randomly stop by"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t listen to all these posters, OP. This situation would drive me and my spouse crazy. In fact, we were in this situation with my own mother, who would force these seemingly well-meaning soup drop offs as a way to insert herself in our lives when we first got married. I wasn’t good at setting boundaries back then and it really upset my spouse, who talks about it to this day. Your DH has to tell his mother that these unscheduled food drop offs and visits are unwelcome and disruptive to the daily flow of your family life and she should wait to be invited for a visit. Then ignore the tantrums, guilt, whining etc that will inevitably come. Another option is to move. Seriously. [/quote]

Good advice.
I think one question I have about how to think of this in my own case: "inserting herself into our life" can also be thought of "being a part of our lives." Which is lovely in theory. But even if you substract the busy-bodyness of it all (which may to not be there), I think it's also 100% legit to want to be "just" a nuclear family during the weeks (or most of the time, or whatever time metric there is). Right? Which may be deeply understandably insulting to the MIL, who has different ideas.

So my point / question isn't how you frame it externally (although I DO think yhou could say, " we need time to est ourselves as a small family" if that's applicalbe) but how you frame it internally? MIL wants more than I want, and I am in charge and have veto rights over what she wants from me?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics