Reply to DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well

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Reply to "DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well "

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[quote=Anonymous]I think OP and spouse had to tell kids about the college fund because otherwise it would seem as if grandpa didn't give them any gift at all. Since they know he isn't poor, that would seem very odd.

I'd do 2 things. First,  explain that grandpa can change the beneficiary of the 529. (within limits, he can.) If GS seems ungrateful for the gift, he might just do that. In that case,GS won't be going to college or will have to work his way through because you haven't saved. Second explain that if grandpa wasn't doing this, the family couldn't take nice vacations..or he couldn't play on a travel team (if he does) or do something else he enjoys or live in the school district because you can only afford your house because you don't have to save for college. In other words, explain how grandpa's generosity benefits him now..if it does.

I think it's at least possible that OP's son is not sure he wants to go to college but hasn't said so yet. If he is ambivalent, he might see the fact that the money is there as something to bludgeon him into doing so. If he's thinking he'd like to join the military or become a plumber or electrician or even just stay at home and going to the local community college, he might see this "gift" as pressure to do something he isn't sure he wants to do.
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