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[quote=Anonymous]Oh OP, that is awful - I'm so sorry.

Good for you for getting the respite month lined up! That's huge. And you should absolutely use that month to figure out a long term plan that is NOT your mother coming home. There may be staff at the facility that can help you think that through (but don't broadcast that until your mother is in there.)

While she's there have an evaluation done of her ability to care for herself. Have them evaluate whether she is safe to discharge to live alone and if not - what kind of support they think she would need to be discharged. Then you can see where the gap is between what she needs and what you can (realistically) provide. It will be important to weigh the health and wellbeing of your family every bit as heavily as the health and wellbeing of your mother.

It does not sound to me like she can live with  you. She needs round the clock support if she can't manage toileting, she needs psychiatric support and/or medication for the type of hallucinatory/altered symptoms you're describing, and she is a risk for injury in the middle of the night - especially if you have a home w/ stairs.

You will have to be painfully honest about the limitations of your home and capabilities but that is the way to best ensure her safety and your health.

Safety trumps everything so first get her into a safe space. Then, focus on how much safer she is there than in your house, and where she can be longterm. But first get her in there!!![/quote]

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