Reply to Can't get over anger towards my mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she could have made better decisions, she would have. She did not have the skills/ability to do better, for whatever reason.[b] No one wants to be 90+ and depending on their kids. [/b]I say this because it is something that helps me not blame people for poor decision-making that affects me, YMMV.[/quote]

I’m not sure this is true. Some threads on this site indicate that parents think their retirement plan is their kids. That is totally irresponsible and selfish. [/quote]

My mom said this specifically.  I have two sisters and it tore us apart.  Luckily we are now on the path forward with our relationship intact.  I also don't know where she got the idea that we were supposed to take care of her since neither she nor my dad did any sort of elder care--they had both moved away and there were many siblings who were more involved.[/quote]

My dad just passed away in his late 80's.  According to my mother, he promised her that:  my sister was going to take care of her and that she could stay in her own home.  She lives in the region of the country where we grew up, but none of us siblings currently lives there.  He made no financial provision of any sort for my sister who is supposedly going to 'take care of mom', although he had the money to do so. So I guess he was assuing that my sister was independently wealthy and she was going to quit her job and leave her family in order ot move back to her hometown to take care of my mother in the ramshackle, falling down house that hadn'nt been maintained for over forty years?  This promise regarding my sister was never discussed with my sister.  It boggles the mind. [/quote]

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