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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I was one of those "nieces" and "granddaughters" back in the day, forced to have a relationship with adults I had nothing in common with other than blood. They didn't want to get to know me, they wanted to take pictures with me, all dolled up, or use me as someone to brag about "Oh, my niece got into Yale". I just never really felt like they wanted to know the real me, my interests, etc. So I drifted away. I will text back once in a blue moon but I really have nothing to say to them. [/quote]

This. I come from one of the cultures people glorify as very extended family oriented, but it was all for show. As long as I went to fancy schools and did fancy and stayed thin and looked good then I was loved and shown off in photos. It's exhausting. So many people felt so close to me because i played along to survive and was a people pleaser. They have NO idea who I am, what my interests are or anything. It's phony. These days I am too busy with life and parenting and work to play the game. My relationships are real and I don't ake time for BS. Not saying this is you, but just because your title is aunt doesn't mean they need to be close. I could care less about gifts or how many times I was forced to go to a family event. I care about real genuine heartfelt connection.[/quote]

Well, my greatgrands and grandparents were immigrants and had a ton of kids, who each had a ton of kids. So a huge extended family. I was actually really close to most of them growing up, and was cared for by grandparents and aunts/uncles a lot. Or, I should say I thought we were close. The moment I moved and didn't do every major event in [small midwestern town] they just sort of stopped. Never visited. Didn't come to my wedding, etc. They were all fully capable, health wise and financially. But it was either I use my vacation time and go there or that was it . . . so, that was it. They know what it is like to be a young working adult, and have kids, etc. Most of them were retired or nearly retired. But they didn't. And I was just way too busy with working FT and kids, etc. So, we just drifted as it made clear that I was only important if I lived in the same town.

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