Reply to DS being teased for being short

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a tall DH and very tall DS, and this is something that I’ve been hyper aware of since my DS was a very tall toddler and the mothers of much smaller toddler boys would comment on it. We (adults) are obsessed with tall people and give tall people so many unearned social privileges because they are tall. It is dumb and unfair, but children do it because they are mirroring what adults do. If we, the grown ups, could quit being obsessed with others’ bodies, this wouldn’t be a problem. It is not appropriate for us to constantly comment on others bodies.

-he’s so tall
-she’s so petite and cute 
-she’s so tiny
-she’s so pretty
-what delicate features she has

I hear people saying these sorts of things about children all the time. You are doing a few things when you do this. First, you are drawing attention to the appearance and body of a child. Why? What valuable purpose does that serve? Secondly, you are sending a message to those children that you approve of and admire their body or appearance. Why? Further, you are sending a message to the other children around that might not have those same characteristics, that they are lesser, because they are not tall, or cute, or petite.

Just drop the commentary on people’s bodies in general.

[/quote]

This will fall on deaf ears, but it's so true.   All of you not happy about hearing these comments to your short son, ask yourself if you've ever said anything to a tall person.  I have a very tall son and I can tell you every single one of you have.  All of you.

Model the behavior you want and stop commenting on other people's bodies in general is the best advice.[/quote]

Another endorsement of this. My 11 year old daughter is super tall and it feels like all adults every comment on, and they just can't let it go but go on and on about it. The adults make her feel a lot more self-conscious than the other kids ever do.

That said, we also talk about the fact that some middle schoolers are just going to tease people - if not about height, it will be about something else. You just kind of roll your eyes and ignore them and move on without taking it personally - it's about them, not you, in the end.[/quote]

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